Just another blog of randomness...

So i thought i would blog on this thing, because i was giving my amigo a hard time and he gave me a hard time back... so here i am... blogging!

The reality is, i don't really know what to blog about. I approach this thing, thinking that i need something insightful, or deep, and to be completely honest, i am not a super deep person! It's very rare, where i get deep! So i thought about it, maybe i should just blog on my feelings, and my questions... and that is precisely what i am going to do...

Today, i am feeling good! I have begun to take a look at my life and attempted to evaluate where i am at. I love my job. I love my friends. I think i have found a major that works. Everything is going fine... except... i feel like i am missing something. There is a part of me that believes God is calling me to something, and i continually am shutting Him down. He wants to take me to another level, but i keep saying no thanks... maybe not audibly... but definitely by my actions. It is funny, sometimes i think i shouldn't even speak about God, because the things i say, and the way i am living, tend to intersect rather than align. I know He is worth every ounce of my being, i know He is Holy and Mighty, and Set Apart, but i don't act like i know. So in essence, i ask myself... Do i truly know?

A friend of mine and i had a chat the other night... i was curious how we are going to reach the youth of this age... and he said, that they have to experience God for themselves. What does an experience look like?? and is it lasting? I question this, because i truly believe i have experienced God, i believe that He has revealed Himself and His character, multiple times, but it never seems to be enough. I have one desire... i desire to surrender everything to God. I desire to live my life the way He has requested, because He is worth it... but i don't? As i look inwardly i have to ask myself, what keeps me from this? The truth is, i am selfish. I like to hang on to things. I like to have control. I have lived my life this way for the majority of my life. I am an independent person who doesn't like help very often. The bigger truth is... the exact opposite is what God requires of us...! He desires us to be completely dependent on Him. He desires us to release all control over to Him. He desires us to ask for His help. And that's the answer!! He desires us to ask...

Prayer has been a topic that He has placed on my heart. It is everywhere. Every place i go, i am more and more getting a message or lesson on prayer. And its soo true. Prayer is the answer. In James it says, the prayers of a righteous man are powerful and effective. Not only will they get the job done, they are going to do it with power. We need to ask. How do i fully surrender to God... i ask for Him to help. How do i change from independent to dependent... i ask Him to change my heart. He wants to hear from His people. So i will continue to ask! Ask for experiences, ask for revelation, ask for refining, ask for grace, ask for mercy, the list goes on and on... but most of all i need to ask for His love!

It is possible.... He is worth it, maybe i should start living like it!!

So, just some random thoughts that are blended together and ya know... you can either read or disregard!! At least i blogged right?